Thursday, 20 December 2012

Induction and Pain killers

The meeting with the OB GYN went well, and he was friendly and professional despite knowing C and V personally. Infact he sent them out of the room so we could talk honestly which was nice.

 We discussed what was going on and I even divulged some GYNAE issues i am having too. He checked that I have had the right Physio and being taking the right precautions- belts, tubi grips, paracetomol etc. I thought I would lose control a few times as I had to tell him what has been going on with regard to not being able to drive, shop, clean and even bathe the children, and all for someone else but I kept that lump in my throat at bay!

So I have a prescription for some stronger pain killers that are suitable for the third trimester up to 4 times a day. But we both decided that i will start off taking them once at night so I can at least sleep through a night. We agreed that if you can at least sleep then everything looks better in the light of day, then up them If i need. I of course checked with C and V that there were happy with me taking them and they are- they are very much in favour of traditional methods such as painkillers.

He also offered to induce me at 38 weeks. Wow. I assumed it would have been harder than that LOL. However, he said that he wanted to try a method that was kinder to my body and the baby. He wanted me in at 8am and i will be given two doses, 6 hours apart, of Prostin gel. Then he will see if cervix is favourable and if it is, he will break my waters. If not, and its a case that my body just isnt ready and it's too soon, then I will go home and wait a few more days or a week and try again. It sounds so much better than starting a Pit drip regardless of my body not being ready. That of course means that a C section is more likely, usually after a horrible drawn out painful labour and that would be catastrophic for me. There is no way I would be able to get the kids to school if I couldn't drive for 6 weeks! So with all this in mind I opted for 38 plus 4, hoping that those extra few days would mean it will work first time, the date falls within a half term for the children and baby will be more 'cooked'. So 13th February it is!
 I have been induced the previous 3 times, for  different reasons and different ways, but with baby number 3 I only had Prostin gel and responded well so hoping that it's the same again!

 Just the thought of a definite date helps so much when I literally am just sobbing my eyes out in pain and frustration. He completely understood this and likened it to some SAS training. Strange analogy, but it made sense. its not about being physically strong but mentally too and having an actual date to work towards, makes you work harder at it.  I can actually tell my children only x amounts of weeks left when I can't take them to the park. If that ramble makes sense!? God, i am rambling again sorry.....

 We aren't really telling many people of the actual date in case it doesn't work and I am sent home to wait a few further days. because by god, I know I will be unbearable and I won't need well meaning people calling me up and ask if I had the baby yet. Those weeks are bad enough as it is!

So as of today I have 7 weeks and 6 days left. There really isn't medals for doing everything as natural as possible by the way. I get sick of some people's bragging. I am all for bithing drug free, I use hypnobirthing myself and i enjoy the calm, quiet way I deliver. But no one comes around the maternity ward and hands out certificates for the least amount of intervention afterwards. A healthy baby and happy mummy is all that matters at the end of the day or in this case, a healthy baby, happy surrogate, a happy daddy, a happy mummy and a happy surrogate mothers family too!

Sunday, 16 December 2012

30 weeks!

OMG! I am 3/4 of the way through?! It seems to be flying to me and to my IPs. The last weeks running up to Christmas and the preparation have helped I am guessing.
 So baby could be here in 7 weeks! Although more realistically 12 knowing my luck. But the end is coming. And as I hit 30 weeks, I found myself really happy- happy that I have done this, and that I am getting to make my Ips dreams come true. There aren't any regrets today, despite the pain. I had to be helped out of the bath yesterday by my husband because of the pain. Talk about shame. But even that isn't detracting from what is an amazing time, a wonderful journey that I am really very proud of! Like I said, I think it's because the birth and the therefore the end, is more of a reality to me and the pain will be over, and baby girl will be in her mummy's arms really soon!

Ips are still being great, with the IM and becoming even closer. They have let on that they have gifts for us for Christmas, so I wasn't sure what to get them. I felt bad that they were spoiling us- In the end I am going to put together a hamper of luxury foods and also helpful things too for after the birth. I am even including something for their dog. I have toyed with the idea of buying for baby but every time I go to a shop I feel weird. I firstly don't want to overstep my position or worry them- I am not bonded maternally to her, but only I know that for sure so don't want to start freaking them out. And I don't want to risk my body getting the wrong idea either. Yes, always playing it over cautious. But I am a first time TS and not risking pain for me, and let's face it, I will have lots of times to be able to buy her things when I don't have hormones coursing through my veins!

We have an OB appointment on Tuesday to see if they will help me with the pain of the SPD, or at least give me a guarantee that they will induce at 40 weeks, so i know psychologically there is a definite end. I still need that end goal when things are hard. I will report back.

Ooh and lastly, I am going to my IPs house before the appointment as it is up the road, and IM is unveiling the nursery she is doing. I feel so honoured to be able to see it first hand and see her proud and excited face. She really is fully on board the 'baby train' right now, her previous worries or doubts have vanished as far as I can see. I am sure that deep down she will have some pessimistic thoughts and feelings after so much hurt in 12 years, questions of whether this is really going to happen but she is doing well to hide them and chuck herself into excitement mode!

Saturday, 8 December 2012

29 weeks

There isn't much to update really, the baby is doing well, and becoming even stronger- her movements hurt my stomach at the moment. But then she has always been very strong and active. I saw the midwife this week and they still don't know why I am having the tightening's  They aren't as frequent any more, but when I do get them, i have to breath through them sometimes.
 My blood pressure was a great 110/55, baby is head down and i had my bloods taken for the routine tests. Results will be in some time this coming week. Oh and baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead already, according to fundal height. Joy! My last was 9lb 7 oz so as they tend to get bigger, i am thinking at least 10lbs?

 The SPD is hitting hard, with me not really able to do much already. For instance, i can't walk around a department store for 30 minutes and drive home, without being in agony 4 hours later and my right leg just doesn't 'pick up', which can be a pain as then I trip myself up. And then things like cooking, walking and driving the children to school are a no go.
 I have asked to see an Obstetrician at the local hospital to see about pain medications or a longer term plan. I quite liked the idea of not having to see one this time, and be purely midwife led, but I am hoping that he has an answer.
 There is talk that they would induce me a week early like they did for my son, but I need to be sure that it's the right thing to do for the baby and the Ips are in agreement. I am not usually one of those people who want baby out asap, but I am finding myself spending more and more time laying down, not doing much and getting myself rather down. And in a TS situation, I can't risk that. I already spend a lot of time wallowing and I know i shouldn't. But the pain is terrible, and I am one of those people who pride themselves on being able to be everything to everyone. The fact that I can't mop up a dirty floor or even bath my children sucks. A week doesn't sound a lot, but psychologically to have a date to work towards, to plan for. is invaluable when everything is so painful and means that I will only have 10 weeks left maximum. Especially as I know it will only get worse as the weeks go on. But then again, I don't want to evict her before she is ready, so I will be guided by a majority decision and see where it leads us!