Tuesday, 24 April 2012


So I listenend to my heart, thought with a clear head and decided that I don't want to start another relationship with other IPs, start over getting to know people with the possibilty that they won't be right, or even introducing my children to a new couple only for them to become attached.

Based on that I would just leave surrogacy altogether actually- it just feels very scary and something bigger than I want to give. But I already know the couple that are perfect for me- well as perfect as I have found since my first couple 2 years ago.
I smile when I think of them, funny things they said, kind things they have done and in my head, heart and gut I know I want to make their dreams come true.

One thing that I have learnt along the way is to listen to your gut instinct but also a little compromise goes along way. Its good to wait for the right match but also you have to realise that there isn't such a thing as a 100% perfect match. Those are two different things. I would have loved to make a childless couple into a family, but they will have an adopted child by then but they still want a surro child. C still wants to father a child, V wants to hold her husbands child and there will be a family made. And in my knowledge and experience that really isn't such a big compromise!!

So, we have agreed to start contracts roughly in 2 months and we can TTC around 3-6 months. There isn't a rush as I will need a few months maintaining my new weight as apparently that can affect fertility and I have no idea what my cycle is doing as I haven't checked. We are going to theirs again next week to eat and C is cooking so that may be harder than you think!
Hoping to talk over the main deal breakers then and make sure we are on the same page. Will let you know how that goes and I will start tracking my cycle!
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Monday, 16 April 2012

Just wanted to check in and say that I am SO ready to start again. The bug was there obviously, as this blog wouldn't exist but its overwhelming today. Lots of surrogate BFPs around me at the moment, and just watching other ladies' positive OPKs and pregnancy tests getting darker and hearing of IPs reactions to their news makes me ache! I want that again, and more.

I am only 7lb from (my initial) goal weight and I have had a small handful of replies from my advert. But I think I am going to go with my heart and wait for C and V. So, cue lots of aching and jealousy for a while longer!!
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Thursday, 5 April 2012

So, the meal was fantastic. It was just good fun, and relaxed and I came away loving c and v even more. But they are still moving forward with the adoption, waiting for a child to be suggested to them any day now. We did talk and have talked since about us working with each other after. Timing wise it will be another 3-6 months before we can start contracts and ttc but they would love that.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Happy for them. A bit regretful that we didn't sort things out 18 months ago, grateful we call each other friends,happy for them but a bit disappointed too.

I have told them I'm not in a rush to join the other organization just yet but I am not sure there is any point in delaying it for them. Because even if we did move forward, it may leave them vulnerable to social services- they make no bones about IPs not doing surrogacy after deciding to adopt and combining the two- not sure what they could or would do but I don't want to complicate things even further. I never wanted to work with a couple with existing children either. I, like many surrogates want to make a family, not finish one. Especially if it makes things tricky for c and v.

So, only 9lbs till goal weight with very little on the horizon. I have a few Facebook friends looking for surrogates but none that grab me like c and v. I placed one ad today just to see who is out there but don't want to start trawlling through ads or forums yet.
So we have left it that we are back to cheering them on through the adoption, meeting as friends and seeing how the land lays in a months time for us all. Someone may fall into my lap, or they may have a devolopment that enables this match. who knows!
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