Sunday, 16 December 2012

30 weeks!

OMG! I am 3/4 of the way through?! It seems to be flying to me and to my IPs. The last weeks running up to Christmas and the preparation have helped I am guessing.
 So baby could be here in 7 weeks! Although more realistically 12 knowing my luck. But the end is coming. And as I hit 30 weeks, I found myself really happy- happy that I have done this, and that I am getting to make my Ips dreams come true. There aren't any regrets today, despite the pain. I had to be helped out of the bath yesterday by my husband because of the pain. Talk about shame. But even that isn't detracting from what is an amazing time, a wonderful journey that I am really very proud of! Like I said, I think it's because the birth and the therefore the end, is more of a reality to me and the pain will be over, and baby girl will be in her mummy's arms really soon!

Ips are still being great, with the IM and becoming even closer. They have let on that they have gifts for us for Christmas, so I wasn't sure what to get them. I felt bad that they were spoiling us- In the end I am going to put together a hamper of luxury foods and also helpful things too for after the birth. I am even including something for their dog. I have toyed with the idea of buying for baby but every time I go to a shop I feel weird. I firstly don't want to overstep my position or worry them- I am not bonded maternally to her, but only I know that for sure so don't want to start freaking them out. And I don't want to risk my body getting the wrong idea either. Yes, always playing it over cautious. But I am a first time TS and not risking pain for me, and let's face it, I will have lots of times to be able to buy her things when I don't have hormones coursing through my veins!

We have an OB appointment on Tuesday to see if they will help me with the pain of the SPD, or at least give me a guarantee that they will induce at 40 weeks, so i know psychologically there is a definite end. I still need that end goal when things are hard. I will report back.

Ooh and lastly, I am going to my IPs house before the appointment as it is up the road, and IM is unveiling the nursery she is doing. I feel so honoured to be able to see it first hand and see her proud and excited face. She really is fully on board the 'baby train' right now, her previous worries or doubts have vanished as far as I can see. I am sure that deep down she will have some pessimistic thoughts and feelings after so much hurt in 12 years, questions of whether this is really going to happen but she is doing well to hide them and chuck herself into excitement mode!

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