I really thought they were going to just say "so will you be our surrogate?". But we talked for another hour or two or pros and cons, what I could do, what surrogacy could offer, how amazing this opportunity would be. Seriously, I felt like I was putting a tender in to do work. My OH likened it to being on the apprentice, me pitching why I should be their surrogate.
But as they left they said they would love to plan something, as they don't want to lose me, or this chance and didn't want me to work with anyone else, and they just needed to work on how to go about telling the adopting panel. We discussed testing, and us sorting out the contract between ourselve and not using our agency this time. I would hear back from them soon about plans to start. Great!!
After some further 30 emails in the afternoon(I counted) we are still no further. They are still scared, still worried and N needs to get her head around it all. So no plans then?
So today, I lost patience finally and sent them an email. I want to know either way this week. I don't know if I should be getting ready to TTC like charting or folic acid, we still haven't covered fundamentals or an agreement. So if it is a yes, I need a plan! Or if it is a no, that is fine too, just tell me already!! Jeez!! Agh, and breathe.......
To make matters worse, I finally logged into fertility friend after 9 months off as it is CD1 today, maybe as preparation, and I saw my old charts. The ones that led to the surrobaby I lost. It brought back fond memories actually, excitement and hope. Then sadness. I want that back.
I promise, the next time I blog, by Friday with any luck, I will know. And I can go back to blogging about my year in surrogacy, not about me trying to convince people!!
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Only you can make the decision on what to do. But, I would be so frustrated by now. I am sure there are a ton of people that would love to work with you, and you wouldn't have to convince them.
ReplyDeleteI have a big problem trying to make someone want to work with me. This is a emotional process but shouldn't be this grouling. As flakey as this has become, I would be pretty concerned on the level on contact after the baby is here.
As for the MC and seeing your charts. I get it. Thats one reason why its been hard to go to SMO sometimes. I see the girls I cycled with when I got pregnant. And, they are all in the 3rd trimester now. Sad.
Thank youu J, its reassuring to know others feel similar. Its a loss but not my loss so to speak- and very strange how apparently small things such as forums ansd charts throw up different emotions. So glad you are on the road to happy ending now though!
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