It worked

Firstly, thank you to those who have commented on and off the blog- you make excellent and valid points which I have used when thinking it over and contact with them.

So I sent a firm, sort of friendly, concise email and simply asked for them to let me know what they wanted by the end of this week. I told them this situation was unfair on me, even though I was sorry that they were scared and confused- it isn't my problem. I was done convincing them so please let me know if they wanted the chance of this amazing gift.

2 hours later I received two heartfelt apologetic emails from them, and they want to start contracts and testing immediately and we will, providing everything is in place, start next cycle, so beginning of July.
Now I know that there are concerns, but I genuinely see their point of view- they end the adoption process now and that makes surrogacy their everything. And based on previous experience, that doesn't work. So ultimately they will end up childless forever. Tough. So they are taking a huge gigantic risk here, telling the Social worker they are giving up and burning their bridges. They will never be accepted on to their books again.

Which brings things on to my shoulders. Seriously, as soon as they said yes, reality hit me. I have met lots of IPs before obviously, all knocking on the last chance, trying to fulfil their dreams. But this is my responsibility. I am their only hope now, I really have a lot to do. My body simply can't let them or me down. Wow.

But my favourite saying in life is 'anxiety and activity can not co-exist'. I.e Roz, get preparing, get cracking. So I started double strength folic acid, prenatal vitamins and my trusty green teas. I am down another 3 lbs this week to a BMI of 27.7 and in another 2 weeks, I will be starting to maintain my weight. That means an extra 400 calories (wohoo) and watching the scales closely. I don't want to jeopardise falling pregnant by dieting. I am also in two minds about my Agnus Castus- I think it worked well last time but not sure I can risk any negative side affects....hmmm.

Next Tuesday my IM and I are going out for lunch and sorting the fundamentals of the agreement which will be nice!

More later!
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