July! 6 weeks

Wow, over half of the year has passed and so much has happened and yet it doesn't feel like it. A very weird situation of waiting, waiting, and more waiting and than BAM, everything is happening.

I feel a bit less panicky since I last posted, because i have some serious symptoms of early pregnancy. The nausea and tiredness has been hitting hard the last few days- i haven't ever had tiredness like it before. Bearing in mind I once worked 4 night shifts a week and looked after my eldest daughter during the day so was literally running off an hour cat nap every 24 hours, so goodness knows what I am trying to grow in there. Hopefully a baby!

Maybe it is because I am 30 now, or the difference in genetics may be. And this am, the sickness was terrible. Especially when I had to make cookies at 6.30 am for the children's lunch boxes as I was too wiped out yesterday to do it. Nothing like suffering from morning sickness and stirring raw egg into fat and flour to make me gag.

I was supposed to be seeing IPs tomorrow but I have to sort out my mothers Nursing home so that is off. Talking of which, i may have to push her around in her wheelchair up ramps, out of cars etc. And she isn't light to say the least. But i can't tell her as it is too soon but i don't want to strain or push myself too much either. So I may have to feign a knee injury!

It is getting harder to not let on actually with people in general. I am the type, despite eating really well, to see a BFP and put weight on automatically. I have a bloated stomach, and maybe a few pounds owing to not exercising lately and i just find myself yawning all of the time. It is quite embarrassing!
 Because of the weight loss, I have every man and his dog commenting on my physical appearance and weight loss- mums at the school gates were the best ones. All positive and encouraging and complimentary. But now, i know people will continue to look at me, wondering why I am not jogging back from the school as I once did or waiting for me to gain some weight back so it bothers me more. I just want to say, yes, I am pregnant, that is why! I know, in 9 months it will all be worth it, and i can lose weight again so i need to get some perspective.

Anyway, I am just eeking forward each and every day, counting my blessings and trying to keep positive!