However, they had another meeting with their social worker and there still isn't any news regarding children available. So that puts them back a further 2 months on where they would like to be. We talked surrogacy a bit, and IF is worried that I will give up waiting for them and he really wants to talk to her about the situation. She however is just as frustrated, but after 10 years of waiting, isn't as fazed- adoption to her is the only way to go at the moment.
From the outset she was less into the surrogacy than IF anyway, even 18 months ago so I don't think anything will change there. I have promised to wait at least 3 months and I do that purely out of my love for them as a couple, the type of journey we could have and IF wanting surrogacy so much.
We have all promised to keep talking and I will let them know if anything comes up or other couples present themselves to me. I want to work with them specifically SO badly, it will be perfect but to what cost? I need this to happen, my marriage and family need it to- its been 2 years already and its fast becoming another one of those things that I try and don't succeed at. Its taken over our lives for so long and for what? Maybe I should just draw a line under it all. But with ovulation ebbing away as I type, another egg has been and gone and I want to use them to help someone. I am ready physically and emotionally. My due date of the surrobaby I lost has been and gone too.
And what if, let's say, that I am waiting for something that won't ever happen. Maybe I am a back up plan should the adoption not work out. I don't think IF thinks that, but she just isn't into it as I would imagine. I have offered to get pregnant with her husbands child, give her the whole pregnancy experience, scans, kicks, experience the birth, breast milk, and a snuggly newborn of her own and it still isn't enough. I just can't make up my mind on what to do. Any suggestions please!?
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Maybe she is having issues with TS. The baby at the end is great! But, some IMs have a hard time getting through the pregnancy. Jealous, feeling like less of a woman, etc.. Maybe thats what she is up against.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!
I just don't understand them waiting months for something that may not happen and you're there ready, willing and able to give them a biological child (which I know isn't everything but...)
ReplyDeleteI think you set yourself a year goal for a reason so you should stick with it.
You know I feel you with the thoughts of surrogacy being just another failed idea but you've wanted this for so long and worked at it for this long - hang in there!
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