Fw:

Ok, so still on my phone as our laptop needs repairing. I was hoping it would be done by now but there you go. So phone it is.
The last few weeks have been quite interesting as I said. The short (ok, maybe long, sorry!) version is that my smear was due (pap for u.s) and I have been having some symptoms the last 3 months that made me make an appointment with the doctor as opposed to the normal nurse. I have been bleeding through out the month, experiencing high volumes of cervical mucous, pain during intercourse and of course the extremely heavy periods are persisting. I explained about wanting to carry a surrogate pregnancy again and needing her signature in the long term too. My doctor was amazing and booked me in for a scan, blood work and my smear test.
They were thinking Endomitriosis, or PCOS. I wasn't really, as I haven't had any issues falling or staying pregnant bar the one miscarriage. I never knew that both conditions also caused miscarriages so I learnt something! So of course I went along and and of course they found nothing. Womb lining was perfect and no cysts or abnormalities on my ovaries.
Next came my bloods, which were taken on day 6 to check hormones and white and red cell count. All completely great apart from my red cell count looked a little low but not to the stage of taking iron- I guess the heavy periods are catching up on me, but I am increasing my iron rich foods.
So they were left with two options. One was a Cervical erosion- not erosion really but that's it's name. The other was cervical cancer.
She did an internal exam along with my smear and low and behold- an abnormal cervix. But both conditions present in similar ways- even to look at.
My GP referred me to the cancer clinic for a coloscopy and other tests. I only had to wait 5 days to be seen but it was hanging over us like a black cloud. I began having those thoughts. As any mummy would. At this point it became about more than would I ever carry a surro baby, but about possibly leaving my own children.
So hospital visits ensued. And guess what. I don't have cancer, I don't even have pre cancerous cells. I can't explain the relief! I felt so so lucky and fortunate.
So next week I am having the cervix erosion quaterised and and I hope to get the paper work signed off for me to join another organisation. It should them return to normal and of course I have had a very thorough health check so it can be all systems go once I find the right couple.
Throughout this, I have continued to lose weight and I am now running 4k without stopping or walking once. And I love it. I didn't think I would, I would be the one looking and rolling my eyes at the jogger on the street before- just not getting it. But I do now!
So I have lost 3 stone now, my bmi is almost at 30 and it holds me in good stead for TTC. Whilst it isn't everything in conceiving, my GP did make a point about fertility rates and pregnancy loss rates being worse in people who are seriously overweight and older. I am 30 now and within 4 years I will considered old to conceive and no one will want my eggs anyway! Madness!
Lastly, we are going to C and Vs house for dinner tomorrow night. We are taking the children which will e interesting, as their house is absolutely beautiful and pristine. And we are having curry. You can imagine the rest but it was their choice!
Not sure how I am feeling about them and the situation- I still love them and as it stands today they are the only ones I want to work with but I am not sure if they are keeping me as a back up if the adoption doesn't work out. Just a feeling. I will let you know after!
So life is great right now, with everything to play for. All I need now is a bit more of a plan!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device