37 weeks

Oh how grateful I am that we are here! Things are getting closer and more exciting. And let's face it, more miserable and uncomfortable too.

We had our monthly meal with C and V on Friday and I was so upbeat and excited. I have been having painful CXs all day, a nice healthy back ache and they got to witness them for themselves. You can see my whole stomach swell and tense with the decent ones and they managed to feel them. Add in that they are all finished preparing for her arrival, it was exciting and my excitement and positive energy lasted all day yesterday too. Today? I have had enough, I can't get comfortable,  I am breathless, can't sleep due to jumpy legs, my stomach is sore from the CXs (that have stopped again) and I keep crying for no reason. All typical end of pregnancy symptoms, so it is to be expected, but what a difference 24 hours can make!

I had to call my MW out on Friday as I had a bad headache, nausea and just didn't feel right in myself and she found my BP is a little up (120/78 from 110/55) and I have some protein in my urine. So I had to do a mid stream sample and I am seeing the MW again tomorrow for the results and another check up. Baby is moving lots and the headache went the next day so they aren't too worried yet. I think my body is just had enough now and is doing it's best to evict little Miss (E? They are pretty set on the name, but just not broadcasting it yet). The midwife thinks I am in a slow, stalling labour already due to me not being able to talk through the Cxs which is a good sign but also frustrating!

I started pumping last night, and got what I can only call the odd drip from both breasts after only 15 minutes each side. I wanted to do it half an hour each to help ripen my cervix, (which is half the reason I have started now) but I didn't want to be in pain the following day. I think this is going to be as hard as I thought it was. There may be updates coming this way if I find out differently. My IPs have provided about 50 syringes and caps- optimistic to say the least!

Oh and the induction due to the hospital schedule and baby sitting issues has been brought forward 2 days so only a week left. However, it is good to remember that because it is even earlier, it has even less chance of it working so more chance of spending all day there only to be sent home for another week.
  I have come to terms with that and I am still in favour of this method despite me probably coming home grumpy and frustrated. It all depends on if my body is ready and not completely forcing it with drugs. It's still an induction of sorts and that has to be taken seriously, but there will no drip,no constant monitoring, no working against an unfavourable cervix.

So this week is all about coming to terms that this may be the last week I am pregnant. Someone pointed out to me that I need to accept this and just enjoy it for what it is. Because I have no desire to to this again, nor add to my own family so essentially, this should be the last time I have a baby inside of me, and on top of that, this baby. It's my last time with her before she goes to her family and I know I will miss this squirming bump and our sometimes testy co existence, and the fact I am someone's surrogate bringing their dreams alive, no matter how grumpy or frustrated I am right now.